A Lesson for Parents

After having worked as a retail drudge for many years and seen numerous parents stagger around the store dragging screaming thrashing distructo monsters I mean children along with them and having heard from a large number of coworkers their plans to never have children, I have a theory.  It’s not simply that my generation is a bunch of selfish little snots who’d rather have fun than do the hard work that comes with kids (potential rewards be damned, it’s all about now).  No, if you’d spent most of your life watching little monsters tearing around, screaming, hitting each other around and being rewarded for it (have the candy just shut up kid) maybe you’d think there weren’t any rewards either.

By disciplining their children, parents not only make their own lives easier, but they help ensure the future of the human race by allowing young people to see that children are not necessarily horrific parasites that suck all the fun and happiness out of life.

But if that’s not good enough for you, there’s another reason to teach your children to behave: if you don’t they might end up as the laughing stock of thousands of people all over the world because they didn’t know how to control themselves in public.

This could have all been avoided y’know.